Cosmic Sex

In a previous blog I offered a few tips that could be applied directly in certain situations but today the topic of cosmic sex came up and I would like to expound on this topic being that I have a lot of experience and opinion in this area. Although I do not personally consider cosmic sex to be a direct form of tantra it certainly is a form of the sexual arts.

First, it is important to clarify exactly what I mean when I say cosmic sex because this term can have different meanings depending on the context or speaker. Cosmic refers to vastness and being extended in time and/or space. Sex refers to lovemaking and not coitus or intercourse- thus in this case cosmic sex is love making extended in time and/or space. This means that your lover may or may not be physically present and that the love made may not necessarily include coitus. Very often I have participated in cosmic sex hundreds of miles away from my love and been overcome with orgasmic love energy. Some call this energetic sex. More recently, I have started to apply these same concepts when in the presence of my lover to amplify the experience.

Here are some steps that couples can use to get started in playing with cosmic sex energy:

1. Make sure you both have taken time to yourself to be as clear and as centered as possible at some point within the last 24 hours. A self check should reveal an overall positive vibe for an ideal experience.

2. It helps if you have some saying that signifies that you desire to move into this space with your partner. This could be anything from a winking emoticon to calling them a special name or falling into a submissive/dominant role. This allows for an acknowledgement from both partners to say "yes" to the ritual that is about to occur.

3. The couple should breathe deeply together.

4. The male should orient himself to receive cosmic energy and act by expanding his aura in a visualization until his aura reaches or touches the edge of the female's aura.

5. The female can simultaneously orient herself in a position to receive the males energy into her aura- a visualization of a vortex/turbine/tornado can be quite helpful in this process.

6. Make it a point to connect with your partner's third eye, heart, and root chakras (at a minimum) to intensify the connection.

7. At this point you are likely able to feel the presence of your lover being there with you fully. You may feel the sensation of their heart, the caress of their aura intertwined with yours, or a clear vision of them there with you (this depends on which senses are the most receptive in the individual).

8. Proceed in any way you see fit and be an artist in your lovemaking. Massaging and caressing are great things to start with. You can ask your partner what they feel to stay in touch and verify the process is going as intended. Be aware that sometimes there is a lag time when there is distance involved. They may feel your caress a minute after you have created the sensation. Try not to obsess about it because if you do then you may have trouble staying in each others energy.

9. Once you are done give thanks to one another while the female relaxes the vortex and the male gradually pulls back his energy.

10. Center and ground yourselves with the intention of bringing your own energy back to you while lovingly sending your partner's energy back to them.

Feel free to alter this technique as your spirit directs you to in order to enhance your own experience. Doing this activity with a trusted partner in which you feel open to giving and receiving love is very important as you will be willingly opening up your energy field to them in a very intimate way. Ending this activity by centering yourself and sending back your partner's energy is very important as improper execution of this can cause confusion afterwards in processing emotions and intuitive discernment.

Feel free to share your stories on cosmic sex and how it works for you!
Above all else, enjoy it!

Dive in, Crown First

You have a strong fleeting feeling coming over you. You feel that you mustn't take it too seriously or it will slip away, somewhat like trying to remember a dream.

Somehow you find yourself as your true self. Somewhere deep within your consciousness. This overwhelming magnitude of presence.

And without words you feel like nothing you're going through really is that important in the scheme of things. You are wellness. You are perfect.

Enjoy your life. Allow yourself to be bathed in the glorious, beautiful things you see and feel in life.

Feeling Secure in Relationships

Most of us come to a time in life in which something happens in our relationships that rubs us the wrong way. We get shaken up by these things and start to question our security or worth in the relationship. This feeling can spread fast and entice us to keep reliving the negative experiences that we have had.

When those times of vulnerability and lack of security come they are strong reminders to let us know that we are not living the happiest life that we know is possible and we are challenged.



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Know that to regain security is to experience that through yourself. Know that worth comes from inside first. As begrudging as it can become, especially if it is happening time and time again, remembering this is the first step to getting our pep back.

Do whatever you have to do to get it back. Selfishness is important. Without the proper level of selfishness there is no true sharing of the self, there is no real selflessness. Sharing yourself becomes a burden, being selfless becomes a monotonous task. Neither of these things have to be experienced as such.

Life changes all the time. Nothing is stagnant. The cycle continues. Take undesirable experiences as a cue to get yourself together. Come back to who you are so that you can share yourself joyfully and be of service from the heart.



The 68 Second Meditation

 

Today many of us do not have a lot of time to add extra things into our lives. Many of us barely find the time to do what we want to do amid responsibilities, work and distractions. How do we find the time to put in work for personal development when we feel as if we barely have any time at all? In scouring through some recordings on YouTube I found an Abraham-Hicks video that discussed a simple concept for adding value to your life and bringing in more joy in 68 seconds. I'm calling it a 68 second meditation but it is more like a purposeful outpouring of positivity and gratitude. First let me give you a little other supporting information.

There is a space/time that everyone of us who lives and sleeps goes through about twice a day and it is the time right before we are asleep and the time right before we are awake. The space in between the state of wakefulness and sleep. It is the space between the dream and what we know as reality when we wake up. In different yoga traditions this is known as yoga nidra. This is considered a state of consciousness in which your subconscious is very open to suggestions. The 68 second technique can be done at any time, but the point of this is to have something succinct and effective. Make it count and do it during one of these times (right before sleep or right as you start to awaken).

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In numerology the number 68 is translated by breaking apart the six and eight and putting the two meanings together. I did this and roughly came up with gratitude and the personal power to create one's own reality. This is a powerful number for create life changing experiences.

To really work this technique do not stress over the length of time. Just know you are going to do this for at least 68 seconds. Start with one positive thought and let that thought branch off and flow into any and every additional positive thought you receive for the allotted time. Also know that you are unlimited with where this can go. Nothing is really off limits as long as it feels good. It can be gratitude for a bed or an exotic vacation or the softness of your partner's smile. Just keep choosing thoughts that feel good. At some point you might feel like you are being showered with light and positivity.

Use yoga nidra for 68 seconds in the morning or night to assert your personal power by showing gratitude and letting the feel good flow. It sets you up for more good feelings to come into your life. In spite of experiencing some stress and sadness, this has provided remarkable results considering the amount of time and effort required. When there is lack of motivation there are still means for turning things around and experiencing life differently.

Senses, Sensation, and Sensuality

     The human nervous system is an absolutely intricate and amazing part of the human body. If one starts to study the human energetic field and also human anatomy & physiology striking similarities come up in relation to the nervous system in particular. In some Eastern traditions the nadis are known as channels for prana or life force energy. The nadi system is the basis for many forms of energy medicine. Revitalizing or clearing the nadis is often a part of the technique used to alleviate symptoms from an energetic standpoint. Oftentimes this is simplified by addressing the chakras which are major hubs for energy in the body and located on the same axis as the spine. The nadis branch out from the chakras extending to the outside of the body or the aura.
     Similarly, the nervous system has nerve plexus' located in the spinal cord. Nerve plexus' are bundles of nerve tissue where nerves come together from all parts of the body. The types of nerves that come together at these plexus' sense things mostly from our muscles and skin. As you can see from the diagrams below, the nervous system (right) and the chakra/nadi system (left) favor one another.



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     There are also proprioceptors in the nervous system. This breaks down to meaning sense of self. These receptors allow us to sense our own body and body position even when our eyes are closed, we are in the dark, or submerged in water. As long as these receptors are working properly you will always have a sense of self and a sense of being in the physical body.
     In spirituality there are references about the statement "I am" and how it relates to sense of self. This is the awareness that there is something to you other than the physical body and mind. Evidenced by you talking to yourself, observing yourself interacting, or the feeling of eternal life or godliness; there is always a sense of the "I am" unless this sense is not working properly in the energy body.
     Note that when you wave your arm back and forth you feel the air and your arm and you know your arm is there. When you stop waving it you can still sense the air as well as the arm and notice that you have the sense to sense it! As an integrative medicine student and enthusiast, it excites me to understand, observe, and integrate knowledge of these concepts. All of this is not necessary to know in order to feel, but as an energy worker and tantrist it improves my efficiency in working with others.
     It is also worth noting that oxygen is carried through the blood along with other physical life force nutrients and the nadis and the vascular system pathways also favor. Since prana is life force energy we have another example of how the physical and energy bodies reinforce one another.


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     In modern medicine the adrenal glands are also considered to be a part of the nervous system. These secrete a host of hormones and some are stress hormones. When we experience stress we experience life differently. Physically, emotionally, and energetically stress has an impact on our lives so this is also something to consider when we are not experiencing the sensuality in life that we desire. Senses allow for sensation and are key in sensuality. The man and woman who are less stressed are able to experience and enjoy life more fully. Note below that the adrenal glands are in close proximity to the solar plexus chakra (manipura[Hindu]/ob[Kemetic]) which relates to our sense of self, will, and ego and is represented by the color yellow.

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      As it relates to a tantra practice and our sexuality, a healthful adrenal gland and solar plexus translates to confidence, surety of self, and will. When the nervous system is operating at it's maximum capacity, the nadis are flowing healthfully, there is consequently a strong sense in the physical self and the sense of "I am" within us. The ability to fully enjoy and take in the stimuli around us is opened up. Moving towards the optimization of these systems is a rewarding process. When optimized, everything harmonizes. Our sense of self is present, our sensation is elevated, and our sensuality flows.

What if My Partner Isn't Into it?

     In becoming acquainted with people around the tantra community the question often comes up as to what can be done when one partner is into it and one partner is not. I grappled with this question for years and tried a few things to reconcile this. Looking back I feel as if one thing lead to another and the process was necessary for me. I am on this path without a formal guru so to speak. The elders that I receive knowledge from have noted that at this time gurus are not necessary to rely upon to build a solid and beneficial tantra practice. This makes it even easier for those who want to dabble or dive into the tantric arts. This also makes the art more accessible to the general public and people who do not initially see tantra as part of the spectrum of spirituality. Here I will discuss the things that I tried and what worked as far as being tantric without having direct partner participation.

1. Expose them to everything.
     I bought videos, read him books, and discussed tantra over dinner trying to get him to "do tantra" with me. I was in the early exploratory phases myself and wanted him to dive in with me. Direct pressure is not a good way to get your partner's buy-in. After this stage I learned to let go and let there be an open invitation while also asking for his moral support during the exploration process for me. I realized in this process that one becomes tantric and does not do tantra.

2. Cultivate your yin and your yang.
     Once I found out that there is a right hand path and a left hand path in tantra and that one path focuses on balancing yin and yang in order to move into expanded states of awareness within self I became enthralled with the idea of this. Finally I could do things on my own to strengthen my yin and yang aspects and see results in my life and in my spiritual practice and learn more about tantra. I did this for a while and I was satisfied with the results because they extended into my personal and professional life. I was especially happy about increasing my yin and learning to manipulate my yang energy. While this was great for my spiritual practice it didn't bring more satisfaction to my relationship on the level that I knew tantra was capable of so I stayed open to receiving more.

3. Create your own experience.
     When our loved one has a birthday, we may plan an entire romantic evening to spend with them based on what we think they would like. Creating your own tantric experience with your partner is similar to doing this for yourself. One can set up for a romantic evening, incorporate things to enrapture all of the senses, and get ready to become the energy director in the situation. If you know what you are doing then your partners energy will follow. This is sometimes referred to as entrainment. It happens without discussing. It is the nature of how humans synch up when they are close. I'm open for consulting on technique, but practicing deep breathing and then learning the microcosmic orbit can be a delightful start to experiencing an expanded state of awareness with your partner. Information is widely available on this technique in many texts and online so I will not go into it here but this is one way that you can begin to create your own tantric experience with your partner present and it will invite more intimacy into the relationship.

     Soon after starting this practice I realized that I had a remarkable amount of influence over my partners ejaculation time extending it or inviting it at my will. I was able to create a space of ecstasy for him and more ecstasy within myself than I had ever experienced. Sometimes I would continue to circulate the energy to create post coital bliss. After a few sessions of this, my partner would report feeling more rejuvenated and blissful as he went about his day. As time went on I became acquainted with additional breathing techniques that manipulate energy in different ways.

     Additionally, if you want to be really successful at creating your own tantric experience with your partner please consider getting energy work and clearing your own energy. This is important because the clearer you are, the more effective you will be when doing this type of work (which is essentially a type of energy work with your partner). There are many different ways of doing clearing one's own energy but it is important enough that it should be touched on here. A simple way of doing this is to use sage spray on yourself with the intention of clearing your energy or burning sage and allowing the smoke to surround you with clearing intentions.

     Many of us realize that when things come up in life our response to them is weighted more heavily than the stimulus with how we experience life. Your response to your partner's disinterest in practicing tantra does not have to shut down your ability to practice. Your experience and practice can continue in spite of their conscious participation because tantra is scientific enough that certain results are predictable when the right elements are present. If you add the right elements you can create a tantric experience with your partner, all directed by you. It is up to the artist in you to bring the necessary elements of the practice into play in your current space with your partner.